New to IFS? Start with our guide to Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) for an overview of key terms like “Parts” and “Self” used below.
What Is an IFS Case Example?
Many of us think about embarking on a journey with a therapist to figure things out, analyze the patterns that show up in our lives and relationships, and use tools and skills to make changes so we can live a more fulfilling, happier life.
Traditional therapy relies heavily on the mind as a single entity, as evidenced by modalities such as CBT and traditional psychoanalysis.
IFS, however, centers on identifying specific thought patterns, habits, or tendencies in one’s thinking, conceptualizing them as ‘parts,’ or sub-personalities, in conjunction with somatic awareness.
In IFS treatment, we listen from the place that IFS refers to as Self, which, unlike agenda-driven Parts, brings compassionate listening, understanding, curiosity, and calmness. This special kind of listening allows the Parts to reveal information about themselves and the functions they have played in our thinking. It is a mindfulness-based, somatically informed method that offers a fresh, visceral perspective that can prove to be life-changing.
In essence, this model offers a framework for altering the way that we relate to ourselves on deep, unconscious levels, and thus ultimately changes the way that we relate to others and the world around us.
Working with clients who are open to exploring themselves through this model yields profound shifts in how clients perceive themselves and the lens through which they view their situations.
The following example may help to demonstrate just how transformative working within the IFS framework can be when we are open, willing, and curious to explore ourselves under the auspices of “all parts are welcome.”
Meet Elana: Anxiety, Family Expectations, and a Plateau in Therapy
Elana, a married, 43-year-old mother of two, came to therapy to work on her struggles with anxiety, a difficult relationship with her mother, high expectations of herself and others, as well as difficulty sleeping.
She had tried therapy before, but was interested in reflecting on a deeper level as she felt she had hit a plateau with cognitive and coping skills-oriented methods.
As we explored Elana’s lines of thought around her anxiety symptoms, distinct Parts began to emerge.
Part of Elana felt anxious about making sure that her children’ s schedules and activities were managed, and juggling this with her full-time job, on top of being a sounding board for her husband’s need to vent about his own stresses, created a lot of anxiety.
This anxious part of Elana was focused on making sure that she was there for everyone at all times, that she did not make any mistakes, and kept up with external demands at all costs, even if that meant not sleeping well and not having enough time to recharge.
In opposition to this anxious part of Elana was a judgmental line of thought that wanted the anxious part to go away, to relax, to let Elana release some of her demands, and to feel less stressed.
As is often the case in IFS, these two parts were creating a lot of internal conflict and discomfort for Elana.
Listening to the Part That Wanted the Anxiety to Stop
During our sessions, we began by bringing curiosity and listening to the part of Elana that wanted the anxiety to stop.
Elana learned that this part was worried that she would burn out if she didn’t find a way to shoulder less responsibility and ask for help instead of trying to push through and never make mistakes.
Elana was able to listen, to offer this part of herself compassion and understanding, and then ask this part to take a step back in order to allow her to spend some time exploring and getting to know the anxious part.
This is the crux of IFS: bringing curiosity and a willingness to explore the parts of ourselves that, at first glance, may appear to be parts that we just want to be rid of or push away and suppress by changing our habits or thoughts.
However, the IFS model asserts that these Parts, or lines of thought, have an underlying reason for driving behaviors such as anxiety, and the best way to approach these parts of ourselves is to listen, rather than insisting that they stop.
That such parts often creep in again and again and resist our attempts to silence or suppress them is the best evidence that we should try a different approach.
Uncovering the Anxious Part's Origins
Once Elana’s part that wanted the anxiety to go away felt heard and understood by Elana’s Self, it released a little bit of its worry and fear of Elana burning out due to anxiety. It allowed Elana to move closer to the anxious part to learn more about it.
Over many sessions, Elana was able to meet with and listen to the anxious line of thought, which released and showed memories from Elana’s past in which Elana’s father expected her to be a sounding board for her mother’s emotional outbursts and struggles when Elana was very young.
The anxious part reminded Elana of the unrealistic and demanding expectations that her family put on her from a very young age, and shared that this part of her was terrified that she would fail at shouldering all of her current responsibilities if this part did not continue to drive her with anxiety.
This part shared that it was protecting Elana from the pain of feeling inadequate if she did not succeed.
From a place of Self, Elana listened to the fear and pain that this part was afraid of, and acknowledged that its intentions were to protect her from enduring an experience like the one she did when she was young.
This is another pivotal moment in an IFS journey: When a client acknowledges that Parts of us, which may drive us to behave in a way that can feel unbearable at times, actually have positive intentions in their desire to shield us from such painful emotions as shame, fear, and vulnerability, because these Parts often protect younger versions of us who experienced such emotions.
The Results: How IFS Therapy Helped Elana Heal
The paragraphs above describe Elana’s IFS process; however, what Elana actually felt over the course of many sessions was a great relief from symptoms of anxiety.
As Elana was able to witness and bring compassion to the difficult experience of her part that led it to protect her with anxious behavior for many years, she began to feel less anxious as this part began to trust that it did not need to protect 43-year-old Elana in the same way it did when she was a child.
In a way, Elana’s ability to relate to this part in a non-judgmental way allowed her to bring this part from being stuck in an anxiety-filled past to a more trusting and understanding present in which Elana no longer needed such intense protection.
Elana expressed that her relationship with her husband became less reactive. She gained a greater ability to be present for her children’s experiences and needs, and her symptoms of insomnia slowly disappeared.
Elana even found greater ease in her relationships with her now-older parents, without ever working on these relationships directly with them.
Is IFS Therapy Right for You?
IFS is not a short-term therapy, and it does require a certain amount of imagination and curiosity.
However, for those who are curious about taking time to reflect deeply, it can, as Elana expressed, ultimately result in feeling “like a different person.”
